I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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