Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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