I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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