just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just found a bag of teeth...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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