Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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