I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
