Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
