Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
