Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
