i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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