There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
