you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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