marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
