question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
