why didn't you poke me back
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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