Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just had sex on a roof
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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