So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
