Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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