You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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