I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm at about main and main street
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize