For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize