Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
