i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
