kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
