I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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