Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
