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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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