In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
