I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
