Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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