i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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