where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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