Sponge bath it is.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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