First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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