We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am naked and annoyed.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
