on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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