Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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