we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And then he peed in my hair
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