god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
