i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
