Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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