I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
