weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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