maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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