Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize