I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
