i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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