well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
