ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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