You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
