You really coming over, don't trick.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
