i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
