i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I could fuck to npr.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
