Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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