I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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