if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
