dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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