Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i think i have two assholes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
